family matters
Fight with the Devil, Murano Family Curse
Alcohol drinking in the family is a curse. Alcohol drinking in three generation leads to damnation. Dr. Jack Murano tries to prevent his son, Mike, from becoming a third-generation alcoholic. Starting from a seemingly innocent sip of champagne drank from an ice hockey trophy, through peer pressure during the high
The Best Way to Ruin Father-Daughter Relationship
Dr. Jack Murano waited for that day ever since Kate was a little girl. In his mind, he rehearsed the wedding ceremony many times. He visualized the sequence of him walking her down the aisle, handing her to a future husband, and dancing the father-daughter dance. Long before the wedding,
The Roundup, First Book of the Trilogy in Historical Fiction
The Murano family saga is my primary theme. Pals Forever is published. So is The Resurrections. The third on The Eighteenth Camel is coming out any day. But the life of a cardiac surgeon and his family is not the only story I am interested in. I am expanding beyond
Why Doctors’ Suicide Rate Is So High
It all starts with the length and the intensity of the medical training. After college, there are years of training in the primary specialty, and more if one wants to subspecialize. In my case, there were 5 years of general surgery, and 2 years of cardiovascular subspecialty. All that after
Fighting the Devil
Alcohol drinking in the family is a curse. Alcohol drinking in three generations leads to damnation. Dr. Jack Murano tries to prevent his son, Mike, from becoming a third-generation alcoholic. Starting from a seemingly innocent sip of champagne drank from an ice hockey trophy, through peer pressure during the high
Pals Forever, First Book in Trilogy of Murano Family Saga
Best Father’s Day present. Dr. Jack Murano’s sole wish was to have a happy family. But is it possible when his wife and children know nothing about the hidden past—about his father being in prison for murder? Jack Murano is forced to share his difficult history when his friend sues
Best Songs for Sons and Daughters on Father’s Day, part 4
Third place. Just the two of us… by Will Smith. The rather generic song, written by William Salter, was popularized by Washington Grover. Will Smith made it into a rap, and sang about a special bond between father and son. The sacred bond. In the video, Smith takes his son
Best Songs for Sons and Daughters on Father’s Day, part 3
Second place Cat Stevens composed and recorded Fathers and Sons before he changed his name to Yusuf Islam. It’s not time to make a changeJust relax, take it easyYou’re still young, that’s your faultThere’s so much you have to knowFind a girl, settle downIf you want, you can marry… The
Best Songs for Sons and Daughters on Father’s Day, part 2
First place ex aequo I’m gonna be like you, dad… A folk rock classic. After his son, Josh, was born, Chapin wrote the music to his wife’s poem. The singer died a few years later in a car crash, and didn’t live long enough to witness the footprint of his
Best Songs for Sons and Daughters on Father’s Day
We have two sons and twin daughters. In our family, the Father’s Day is usually quite eventful, and I pride myself on being important to them. Recently, I realized how many songs there are recognizing the unique bond between the parents and their children. The sacred bond. I have known
The First Book in the Muranos Trilogy Saga.
Start your journey this Father’s Day. This was my post from January this year. https://bit.ly/3MBgnjM Here is the follow-up. And the progress report. My writing in 2023 is taking shape. You may or may not know that I took all my already published books off the market. The Pandemics helped
What’s New for Me in 2023?
These were my thoughts entering 2022: https://bit.ly/3Q50YtD My optimism was clearly justified. There was one significant personal loss in our family. But also 2022 brought exciting changes to my writing. Let me share these with you. I felt my stories were not ready for prime time. And that I could
Twenty Things to Do in Your Thirties to Be a Happy Father for the Rest of Your Life.
“When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.” Anonymous “My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass.’ ‘We’re not raising grass,’ Dad would reply.
Is Loneliness Good? Would You Rather Party or Pray?
Our family is blessed. Bonnie’s parents just celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary. What a joy! Or is it? They are still fortunate to be together and stay relatively healthy. And to have a devoted family. But it’s fascinating to think about how the old age changes your social life. I
What My Father’s Shaving Lessons Taught Me About Life
Be patient, avoid mediocrity, and pay attention to details. It was his sacrosanct daily morning routine. After getting up, before putting on his suit and leaving for work, and before breakfast was served, my father took the ownership of our kitchen table. We didn’t have hot water in our skimpy
How We Care. The Epilogue.
The family care doesn’t start at birth. And doesn’t finish at death. Arthur Kleinman, from memory, modified. At a certain age, each of us suddenly finds out we had ancestors. I got interested in my heritage when I realized that the name of the village, where my father was born,
How We Care. My Mother.
“A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child.” Nicole Helget, Stillwater When the Warsaw Uprising broke out, I was 6 months old. We lived in the center of the city, where the fighting was most brutal. One day, the group of insurgents brought us two infants whose mothers
How We Care. My Father.
When a father helps his son, they both laugh. When a son helps his father, they both cry. Yiddish proverb. One of the most consequential decisions of my life was to bring my parents from Poland to the United States. While they were getting older, I realized my parents’ future
How Many of the Earthly Possessions Do We Need
While they were getting older, I realized my parents’ future looked grim in Poland. The communism maintained its tight grip on the economy and politics. The unrest past the brewing point and spilled on the streets. Everyday survival got to be a challenge. Moreover, their medical care was compromised. They
The life with Bentley, my writing companion
For many people, and I certainly know for me, dogs are a big, irreplaceable part of their lives. I didn’t grow up with dogs, but now I can’t imagine my life without my furry friend. But with their short life-span, dogs rarely outlive their owners. So, more often than not, the
Drama on the Dancing Floor
The life story of Dr. Jack Murano goes on. Fathers and Sons After years of estrangement, his daughter asked Jack to walk her down the aisle during her wedding with Nick. He sees it as an honor and a great chance for reconciliation with Kate. She sees it as an opportunity
Bentley, My Devoted Writing Companion
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went. Will Rogers Bentley was our Christmas gift to Bonnie. The eight-weeks-old came with a red ribbon and a bow. Instead of a Jaguar. The kids and I did many secret talks, and
Transition to the Third Trimester of Life
Just imagine… Imagine yourself walking in an upscale suburban neighborhood. It’s late evening. Through the bay window, you can see a well lit but otherwise darkly furnished room. It looks like an old-fashioned library. There is a late middle age man sitting in a partially unfolded recliner with his elbows
The Best Father’s Day Present Ever.
During my years in California, while in a private practice of cardiovascular surgery, I was elected the president of the local chapter of the American Heart Association. During one of the meetings, a late middle-aged woman came to me and said, “I know you!” I said, “You do!” thinking of
Panegyric on my daughter and life in New York
If you can make it there… Fred Ebb Heralded as the capital of the world. The biggest port of entry for immigrants to the United States. I know, forty years ago, I flew to New York on a big PAN AM 747 sitting next to a catholic nun. It was
Best Dish in the Polish Kitchen
After WWII, countries in Europe were deluged with art inspired by the monstrosities of the conflict. Despite a relatively small population, Poland was presented with one of the highest casualty lists, the highest as a percentage of the total population of the nations. No wonder that the resulting impression on
How to Measure Success in the Life of a Surgeon
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. Albert Schweitzer But how to get there? It was the second half of the 19th century. In Albany, New York, a middle age woman developed sharp,
Story of the cross in my father’s church
Christianity has a long history in Poland. In the 900s, we had no country – just a bunch of Slavic tribes. The ruler of one of them, Mieszko, had big ambitions, which fortunately were backed by the political and military skills. Having unification on his mind, Mieszko I, with substantial
Trip to Europe and How to Finance Your Education
A couple of months ago, Bonnie and I came back from an exhausting trip to the continent where I spent the first thirty years of my life. Four countries, countless cities and many sleepless nights. But we wouldn’t put a price, monetary and otherwise, on all the memories we’ve got.
How to Treat Tree Wounds
Our lot in Briar Chapel was covered with trees. The battle with builders was tough, but we were able to spare ten decent, tall trees. I had to almost throw myself in the path of their bulldozer… (just kidding, we could negotiate and put ribbons on a few trees). But
Courage and the Price of Integrity
It was 1942, three years after the German invasion of Poland. In the village of Rekowka, 90 miles south of Warsaw, German troops appeared in a house occupied by two families, Skoczylas and Kosiorow. Apparently acting on a tip, they were looking for Jews. Indeed, there were six Jewish people
Saying Goodbye to the Father
The surgery was long and complicated. Then Dr. Murano had to take the patient back to the OR for bleeding. It was well after midnight when he got home. The ICU nurse kept calling him with the updates, and it didn’t sound like his patient was stable. Blood pressure was
Walking a Fine Line with the Patient’s Family Before Surgery
Dr. Jack Murano was sitting in his office with the patient’s family in front of him. Their father was in the ICU awaiting a complex heart operation. The older man’s heart was not good, and his cardiologists couldn’t do much more for him. Heart surgery was his last resort, and
What’s Your Biggest Life Achievement?
The flight was early in the morning, but I had zone 1 for boarding. The cabin seemed empty, but on the way to my seat, I noticed her sitting next to mine. She was elderly (wasn’t she my age?) and with a perpetual smile on her face, she reminded me
Motherhood Is The Most Important Job on Earth
If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? Milton Berle In motherhood, pay is lousy, if you are talking of monetary things. But payoff is priceless in so many other things. Roxane Henke God could not be everywhere, so He created mothers Jewish proverb I was recently
Living in New York or a Panegyric on My Daughter
If you can make it there… Fred Ebb Heralded as the capital of the world. The biggest port of entry for immigrants to the United States. I know, forty years ago, I flew to New York on a big Pan Am 747 sitting next to a catholic nun. It was
When Do We Start Getting Old
You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw While in Poland, I had a close friend, Andrzej. His father was a barber and used to cut my hair. When I was in the first grade, my friend was in fourth.
…And Why Their Parents Don’t
In my previous post, I described scenarios in which young people are leaving the countries of their birth. Now is the time to contrast the older generation. During my stay in the United States, I was carefully watching the life of my parents in Poland. We sent letters as often
Why Young People are Leaving the Country of Their Parents
Italy: The Nation That crushes Its Young. (NYT, Oct 30, 2013) Italy Breaks Your Heart. (NYT, Oct 26, 2013) These two recent articles published in the New York Times captured my attention. They both comment on the exodus of Italian young people, particularly males, and their travel to France, England
The joy of having identical twins
When I was working in California in private practice of cardiovascular surgery, I was elected the president of the local chapter of the American Heart Association. On one of the meetings, a late middle-aged woman came to me and said, “I know you!”. I said, “You do” thinking of her
How do we learn, and are the teachers important?
A few weeks ago, one of my daughters helped me to solve a problem I had with my blog. I wasn’t surprised, just nicely pleased. I texted it to her and asked; ‘Is it your genes or Cornell?”. She answered: “Both, Dad, both”. There is ongoing discussion, what is more
How to Help Children to Cherish Our Heritage
Recently, I am reading a lot about people getting interested in their roots. Usual avenues to trace them are through Ellis Island records, Mormon Church archives and popular websites such as ancestry.com, genealogy.archives.org and so on. It is becoming quite a popular pastime, and I see many retired persons
How to Raise Your Children, so They’ll Love You Back
Give me a child until he is seven, and I will give you a man. Francis Xavier, co-founder of the Jesuit order There is a story told me by my Father. It was very popular in Poland, when we were run by communist Russia after WWll. To help women with
What do We Have in Common with Wayne Gretzky
They completed “The Trade” 25 years ago. The Edmonton Oilers moved Wayne Gretzky to Los Angeles Kings at the height of his hockey career. Canadian national hero was playing in Canada no more. He found out of this decision a few hours after winning Stanley Cup in 1988 from his father,
Education Starts at Home, School is Just Addition
Live like you will die tomorrow, learn like you will live forever. Mahatma Ghandi My Father was a well-respected corporate lawyer in Poland. My Mother finished her elementary education in a two-room school in a deep country. Then she moved to Warsaw and soon enrolled in high school there. Starting
